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Yaniv Erlich has a soft spot for genealogy. A data scientist at Columbia University and the chief science of officer of the DNA test company MyHeritage, he describes many things in the context of family. The paper, published in the journal Red tail boa lighting, looks at genetic data from millions of online genealogy profiles.

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No one is around and your phone is dead. Out of the corner of your eyes you see them: your first cousin once removed. They get down on all fours and break into a sprint.

Your first cousin once removed. We recently discovered who this mystery relation is. They technically share a generation with you, but usually end up being weirdly older. Which brings us to our main point of contention: titles should reflect generational differences.

Why are first cousins many years older than us and first cousins once removed our age? Why did some Free sexting site cousins just pop out of a womb, while others have begun talking retirement?

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How could a nomenclature system let this happen? You could suddenly have access to those vast armies.

Why would your second cousin once removed through marriage even want to loan you the militias? You may notice that both of these potential uses have to do with monarchical or even feudal lines of ownership and succession.

Historically, nobody has cared about those rules unless in relation to heirs closer to the throne. And nowadays, nobody even knows what these terms mean. These words — second cousin, third cousin — mean nothing and require explanations of their own.

This system is arcane and inane. We need relationship nomenclature reform lest the entire English language go down as outdated. What do you think happened to Latin?

Cousins: the basics

They let some things slide and suddenly people were speaking French, Italian, Spanish. English is anything but concise and clear-cut, but surely it can do better than this.

We dream of a world where we can look our distant relatives in their eyes and know who Single women friends are without looking at charts. We dream of a future when we can boldly walk into any family reunion without sweaty anxiety over the ambiguity of our relationships to the people in our own family.

Dani Sundell is the creative director and Karim Doumar is the editor in chief and president.

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